When in a clinical trial for hepatitis C, there is no place to hide in the waiting room. We are all there with our livers and our coolers full of injectable poisons. You can tell what trial each person is in by the cooler they carry. And watching the progress of a person, you can evaluate the side effect profile of the drugs. Sort of. Do they bother combing hair? Coloring lips? Putting on lace up shoes? Is that insider trading? No, studies are blinded. But we are not. Clinicians would learn a lot observing us before we go on stage with the white coats.
I’m a Tuesday girl, I come on Tuesdays. I recognize the Tuesday people.
You can clearly see the transplant candidates. They look like Cecil without a smile. A yellow-green snot color with a gaunt face and an ascitic belly. The post transplants look less yellow but more waxy, and kinda more dead. High doses of steroids and immunosuppressives will do that. I look around thinking “These are not my people” but they are. If I look beyond the medical realities, they show up in a shirt and tie, uniform, sweat suit. But they don’t look like, I don’t know, losers.
I want so badly to change the TV to CNBC or CNN. But I am too short to change channels and everyone is staring at Good Day Houston. I want to scream. I breathe in and try to focus on questions I have and remember to request a copy of my lab work. Don’t forget, don’t forget, don’t forget (Brain Fog).
I am sitting where I can’t see the TV, and listening to a book on my phone. But then I watch everyone watch Good Day Houston and try to guess their faces. Ugh, the only thing worse than a national daytime talk show is a local daytime talk show. I remember Girl Talk with Virginia Graham out of Cincinnati when I was a kid home ill. I’ d never seen anyone so made up in my life. And at 9 AM. She had her hair combed into cotton candy, and four shades of lip color. I don’t know about her feet. She motioned for guests to join her at the coffee table. Her jewelry jingled but her hair never moved. . She was not my people.
- Virginia Graham (the early 60s) way before The View…
- Woah! I Googled Girl Talk and got something completely different.