“I Pooped Today” Important information to track while on Hepatitis C treatment
If you choose to participate in a drug study while being treated for Hepatitis C, be prepared to keep a diary. Most of these examples are from round one. You know what they say about experience: There are those that got it and those that are going to get it. I’ve been both. During round two, I knew a lot of holes were out there and walked around them. Or paved them in advanced. I did find new ones.
How many bowel movements have you had since your last visit? What color is it? I think this is a test to see if I am fixated on poop. BTW Your family doesn’t want to know about your poop even if they pretend to. Most people on treatment have frequent stools but not me. See, don’t you wish you didn’t know?
Get comfortable discussing your bodily functions with everyone in a white coat. You haven’t had dignity for a while. How dark is your urine? I don’t know, it’s diluted when it hits the toilet bowl. Does it smell? I really want to make a nose joke here.
How’s your eating? Food smells and tastes like pennies and my stomach burns. Have you tried not eating spicy foods? I am only eating buttered noodles and Little Debbie Oatmeal Cakes. Oh.
Brain fog “Loss of ability to concentrate. Memory loss” How has your memory been?Huh? Non-participative. Try to write everything down in one place. I can’t seem to find my notebook, so I start another. Kinda makes it worse.Try to hold a job let alone a career with that side effect.
Did I take my medicine? When did I take my medicine? Did I take it in lemon duck? Did I take it with a eunuch? Did I take it on my death-bed? Did it make me see a dragon’s head? Write it all down, you won’t remember. (ref Brain Fog)
Try to get as much sleep as you can. Brilliant. Now I lay me down to sleep, to lie awake with Lil Bo Peep. Okay, a bit too much rhyming. But today my brain wants to rhyme.
Avoid undue excitement. You mean like my brain running The Fifth Element Flossing Paradise 24/7? We can prescribe sleep medications. Why didn’t you tell me that 6 months ago?
We recommend aerobic exercise 15-20 minutes/day. Are you shitting me? Do I keep track if you are shitting me?
How many times did you have a blinding H/A this week? How many not so blinding? Let me see, I cry a couple of times a day. Crying results in a blinding headache. So I hold in the crying. The result, “not blinding” headache. I’m not sure if I am crying on the inside or outside.
Rashes and skin changes. Is that because of medications or just old spots? What about the ones that are 3-D?
My skin itches. Take an antihistamine. I did. Take Benadryl 50 mg. Spit will fall out of my mouth if I have any secretions. Can I see a dermatologist about this? Sure but it will be weeks before we can get you in. WTF is a dermatologist so busy doing?
How has your mental health been since your last visit? Can you draw a line on this form to show the change? I can’t give you any more instructions, even if you don’t understand this (silly) form. The -Y axis is not long enough to document the rate of my decline.
Do you think we should put you on antidepressants? I don’t know who I am much less what I need. Have you had suicidal or homicidal thoughts? I can’t remember. With or without headaches?
It is Tuesday, time for my weekly injection. Just when I was feeling up line dancing in a circle (props go Dos XX commercial). Where was your injection site last week? In my forehead with a silver bullet.
Because my Hemoglobin (HgB) is so low, I can’t walk from the parking structure to my work appointments. Can I get a Handicap Placard? No one has ever asked for one before. So can I get one? Bring us the form. The Dr. will have to sign it.
License branch information booth: Do I have to stand in the long line with the masses? If I could stand that long I wouldn’t need a Handicap placard. Then bring someone to stand in line for you. Next